


My Heart Yearns (Only For You)

by QuidditchNerd99



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: ...yet, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst, Best Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt No Comfort, I wanted fluff but wrote angst, I'm so sorry, Lance's poor poetry, M/M, Maybe a happy ending?, Not A Happy Ending, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Not Happy, One-Sided Relationship, Poetry (Mentioned), Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, angst angst and even more angst, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29831037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuidditchNerd99/pseuds/QuidditchNerd99
Summary: Merlin high school AU.Merlin and Arthur have been best friends all their lives. They are so close to each other that their friends joke that they are secretly dating. But Merlin can only take so many jokes before snapping. After yelling to their friends, he storms off, leaving Arthur heartbroken after the outburst. Believing that him and Merlin were, in fact, dating, his heart shatters. In the aftermath, Arthur doesn't believe that he could feel any worse. Until he does.Sorry about the summary, I really suck at writing them. I wanted it to be a fluffy, happy piece but then my traitorous brain decided we all needed a little more pain in our lives. But maybe I'll actually manage to turn it into a fluffier piece. Fingers crossed, I guess!
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merthur
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. The Outburst (Merlin)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, it's been just under a year since I posted last. There have been a lot of horrible things to happened this year, both to myself and to many others, and then uni started in the fall and a creative writing course I took for fun absolutely demolished my will to write anything ever again. But I was looking back on my book of unfinished WIP's and I was once more inspired. Originally this work was meant to be a light, fluffy, happy piece meant to make people smile, but of course I had to take my frustrations out on this innocent fic and now here we are, close to tears, but as many know, writing can be a source of venting and I do feel a little better. Anyways, I just wanted to say that we made it out of 2020 and hopefully this year is turns out to be better. Congratulations everyone, you are all wonderful, amazing, talented people, and _we made it_!
> 
> P. S. I really hope my next piece is happier and also not published a whole year later, haha.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And you all know the drill; let me know if there are any mistakes! :)

“Hey Merlin, I need your help with some of these math problems. You free after school?” Arthur turned his puppy dog pout onto Merlin, fully aware that his best friend couldn’t resist.

“Sure. Your place or mine?”

“Hmm… Yours. We always get distracted at mine.” Arthur responded. With how rich the Pendragons were, it was no wonder that the latest videogames, air hockey tables, and massive indoor pool seduced the boys away from actually completing their homework.

A round of laughter from their friends broke them out of their trance. Breaking their gazes away from each other, Merlin fiddled nervously with a pencil while Arthur pretended to fix his shoelace. “Distracted, huh? Oh, we all know what you two get up to behind closed doors.” Gwaine winked at their friends, speaking in a conspiratorial tone.

“Do you really need help with math, Arthur? You’re one of the top students along with Merlin. Or are you just trying to get some time alone with your boyfriend, you sly dog, you.” Lance chimed in.

In response to their comments, Arthur threw his shoes at the both of them – only after checking to make sure there were no teachers around, of course. Both boys were tomato red, embarrassed with the teasing of their friends. Although this had been going on for quite some time now, the meddlesome teasing still burrowed itself under their skins.

“Or perhaps a romantic date, brother dear? Planning a proposal? There’s no need to worry; he’d say yes.” Morgana’s comment finally struck too close to home for Merlin.

“That is enough out of all of you! Arthur and I are not a couple. We have never been. I am sick and tired of all of these jokes at our expense. It isn’t funny. At all.” Merlin fumed, grateful when Gwen shot him a sympathetic look. Sometimes, when Arthur was being a real prat, Gwen was most definitely his favorite. She never made fun of their friendship, never pried. And at the end of the day, Merlin knew he could tell her anything without her spilling it to the rest of the group. The rest of the time though, Gwen – as wonderful as she was – had to take second place, only to Arthur for… Well, for obvious reasons.

“Well, he never said you guys wouldn’t get together in the future.” Morgana shot a wink over towards Arthur who was becoming impossibly redder (and adorable). The creeping flush was just begging to be kissed and sucked by Merlin, who was wondering just how far down it went.

And with that remark, Merlin was storming off, thankful that all of his afternoon classes only included Gwen and Arthur, and ignoring any apologies from his friends. He loved them to death and knew they were only teasing, but they hit the last straw, tormenting him over his unrequited crush on said blond, even though they had no idea (he hoped). Well, now he might have given it away.

His afternoon classes were uneventful, and though Gwen patted his hand and let him know he could talk to her whenever, cheering him up with funny anecdotes and jokes, Arthur was very cold. Cutting him off with one syllable answers, not meeting his gaze, even switching his regular seat with Freya just to not sit with him. It stung Merlin that his best friend was treating him in such a manner, but for the life of him, Merlin couldn’t remember saying anything rude or hurtful to him. Not knowing why Arthur was so angry with him chewed Merlin up. Sure, they have fought before – quite often, actually – but Arthur had never treated Merlin in such a manner ever before. When the bell rang, the blond raced out of the classroom, completely ignoring Merlin, almost as if he were eager to get away, which was an extra slap in the face to Merlin because they always walked around together after school, talking about everything and anything (which was a running joke in his circle of friends about how them walking together was a cover for their romantic dates).

A sharp chime of his phone alerted Merlin to an incoming text from Arthur.

**Arthur:** _Hey, just wanted to let you know I figured out the math problems. I’m gonna stay home tonight._

**Merlin:** Alright. I’m glad you figured them out. Wanna come over anyways? We can watch a movie or something.

**Arthur:** _I’m actually not feeling well right now. Don’t want you to catch it. See you tomorrow._

**Merlin:** Do you want me to bring you some soup or something?

**Arthur:** _No. Don’t bother._

**Merlin:** Okay, well feel better!

Seeing the icon blinking, signifying Arthur had read his last message and chose not to respond started to tick Merlin off. He couldn’t even say ‘thank you’ for gosh sakes? What an absolute clotpole. And if he was going to be a complete dollop-head, well Merlin wouldn’t stop him.


	2. The Outburst (Arthur)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's POV.

“That is enough out of all of you! Arthur and I are not a couple. We have never been. I am sick and tired of all of these jokes at our expense. It isn’t funny. At all.” Merlin’s words were like a bucket of ice cold water, cutting him to the bone, the chill permeating to his heart. Were they truly just friends to Merlin? To Arthur it felt like something more. Hanging out all the time, having constant sleepovers, knowing every secret about each other, long late night conversations. Honestly, some people (including Arthur) would consider them to be dating, just taking it slow, but dating nonetheless. To see Merlin’s view on their relationship stung. That his feelings for his best friend were unrequited when he had truly believed them to be dating. That’s always why Arthur had never corrected his friends or snapped at him; he had assumed Merlin wanted to take things slowly, which is why he had never outright told his friends, but neither had he denied it. Morgana’s _well, he never said you guys wouldn’t get together in the future_ , was truly the icing on the cake, driving that painful stake further into his heart. After seeing Merlin take off in a huff, he made a hasty excuse before leaving in the opposite direction, needing space.

He had managed to convince Freya to swap spots with him in class so he wouldn’t have to directly face Merlin, afraid of blurting something dumb out in front of his friend. Luckily Freya had a bit of a crush on Merlin and swapped quite excitedly, creating a barrier between his emotions and the object of such affections. After class he packed up his belongings quickly, bolting out of the class to avoid Merlin before remembering that he and Merlin had plans to work on math homework together. Knowing fully well how to solve the tricky questions (he was one of the top students after all) he texted Merlin to cancel his plans without seeming like he was avoiding his best friend (which didn’t work). Already feeling horrible about not seeing his best friend, lying about being sick twisted his gut (maybe he was going to be sick after all), and then rudely ignoring Merlin made him feel like the absolute worst person on the planet. Arthur knew he was being rude, but he didn’t know how to fix it, relying on his automatic skills of being a reflexive jerk to make the situation worse.

He arrived home much earlier than he normally did, as he hadn’t hung out with Merlin after school like usual, and had plenty of time to kill after completing his homework. But, due to his stupid pining self, everything he tried to do just reminded him of Merlin and he slowly sunk into a gloomy stupor before a gentle knocking aroused him from his inward sufferings. _Morgana._ She poked her head in seconds later, glossy black hair swinging to and fro.

“Hey,” She spoke softly, settling herself gracefully on the foot of his bed, “I’m sorry for those remarks today. I went too far. I’m going to apologize to Merlin tomorrow as well, but I think I speak for the group when I say that we genuinely thought that either you guys were actually secretly dating or that you guys were close to dating. Your feelings for each other are really obvious, Arthur. Everyone can see that. Up until Merlin snapped I thought you guys were together, and all of us thought that you two were adorable. But now I see that I was wrong and I fear we might have pushed you two away from each other in the process. Please don’t be mad at us, Arthur, we only meant to tease, not to hurt. I’m really sorry, Arthur, I hope you can forgive me.” Morgana grabbed his hands, clasping them in her smaller, warmer hands, eyes pleading for forgiveness.

With a heavy sigh, Arthur realized that he wasn’t mad at anyone, not anymore. “Of course I forgive you, Morgana, I was never mad in the first place. It just hurts. Merlin’s reaction. So much.”

“How come, brother? I can try to help.”

Knowing that Morgana couldn’t help him in the way he needed but also needing to rant to someone, Arthur was torn between telling her and keeping it to himself, the former winning in his mind. “I… Merlin is the one person who knows everything about me. He and I tell each other everything. But somewhere along the long friendship we have had, Imighthavegottensomefeelingsforhim.” He forced out, immediately relieved to have spoken it out loud, the weight somewhat dissipating from his chest. Arthur took another deep breath, calming his thoughts and stabilizing his shaking voice. “I thought that he felt the same way too. That maybe we could be together. And I started buying him small, thoughtful gifts, taking him out to eat with just the two of us. We would go on late night walks and talk for hours through the phone. Morgana,” He was just shy of wailing, despair evident in his voice as he flopped facedown into his pillow to muffle his embarrassment. “I thought that we were dating. I know we never kissed but we went on dates and held hands and talked about everything. I thought he was shy and was taking it slow. I didn’t push because I wanted us to last. And then when he yelled at you guys it made me realize that he didn’t see us in the same way I did, that our relationship wasn’t special. That he didn’t love me like I love him. And those words cut me like a knife, Morgana, it hurt so much. And – oh God, what if I had kissed him? That could have ruined our friendship! What am I supposed to do? How do I face him and treat him like he hasn’t just shattered my heart into pieces? The one person I thought would be my only just walked away as if it hadn’t been anything.” He gasped, paling instantly, lifting his face from the pillow, expression of abject horror. “Morgana, what if he knew that I thought we were dating and went along with it because he thought I was forcing him to? Because maybe he was afraid of ruining our friendship?” An unladylike snort resonated through the room as Morgana expressed her opinion on Arthur’s voiced fears.

“Arthur, I love you so much, but believe me when I say you are a right idiot. That boy loves you just as much as you love him and if you can’t see that, you are blind. I guarantee you that he didn’t know you were dating, and that our jibes made him lash out because although we teased about you two, he was angry that you weren’t together and might have gotten defensive about his feelings as well, afraid you might find out. And before you object-“ She cut him off as he opened his mouth to retort, “-that boy is as much an idiot as you are. You are blind to each other’s emotions. If you both just opened your eyes and realized your feelings for each other were requited – quite strongly as well – this would be much less frustrating for all of us involved.”

“Morgana, he really doesn’t feel that way about me. I appreciate the fact that you are trying to make me feel better, but Merlin doesn’t love me. At least, not any love other than platonic.”

“Of course he does! Do you not see how he treats you?”

“Yeah, like everyone else. Morgana, this isn’t helping me.”

“Oh nooo, I see what’s going on. You’re in denial!” She accused, jabbing one of her sharp, blood red nails into his chest (and although he would never admit it, those stupid things hurt, for Christ’s sake!) “You don’t want to see it because you are scared of him hurting you, and maybe, you also deny it because you want a bit of hurt, to torture yourself because _boo hoo, my love is unrequited, I’m going to die alone, the world is ending because I’m such a fool that I don’t see that he loves me back!_ ” She mocked, facial expressions attempting to mock a heartbroken Arthur. She looked more constipated than in despair, although Arthur would never say that out loud out of fear of her sharp nails causing permanent damage to his precious body. He spent _years_ building abs, his gift to the world, and he wasn’t going to die young because he said something stupid to his sister. He had enough self-preservation to understand that. “Honestly, Arthur, if you’re too blind to see that you both love each other, I’m not going to help you out of this mess.” And with a _‘cheer up, bud’_ and a stinging slap on his back, she whisked out of his room, snapping her gum on the way.

Releasing a soft groan, Arthur sank his face onto his palms, carding his fingers through his hair. He was completely screwed.


	3. The Aftermath (Merlin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's POV, the next day at school.

The next day at school Merlin was cornered by his friends. After a mildly traumatizing interpretive dance courtesy of Gwaine, Elyan, and Percy, as well as some very long and _interesting_ poetry written by Lance (seriously, how did he come up with so many synonyms of the word ‘apology’??), followed by Leon and Morgana wrestling the poems out of his hands, claiming to burn it after school, he managed to break away from the group to breathe. But only after hearing their many heartfelt apologies. Their apologies were a double-edged sword for Merlin. On one hand, it was nice to know they felt bad for their actions, though on the other hand, it just further reminded Merlin of his feelings, romantic at that, for his best friend.

Running away from his friends, he spotted Arthur at his locker. As he approached, it seemed as though Arthur was ignoring him, but that couldn’t be true for a few reasons; firstly, because Arthur never ignored him. Secondly, over their late night conversations, the young Pendragon had revealed that he would never ignore anyone. Uther used it as a tactic to belittle others into feeling inferior and, seeing this, Arthur swore never to become like his father. He wanted to be liked, not feared, and treating someone as less than you was horrible and wrong. Arthur believed that if you were mad or had a problem with someone else, you outright told them, didn’t let it fester into hatred and contempt or something much viler. And thirdly, because they weren’t fighting, right?

“Hey Arthur,” He called out, making his way over to the locker. No response was projected by the blond. Deciding to wait to call out until closer he crossed the hallway. Obviously Arthur wasn’t ignoring him. That was ridiculous. Though, the increased pace of shoveling books into his backpack wavered Merlin’s certainty – just a bit, only a bit. “Hey Arthur, I’m glad you figured out the math questions last night. Mum missed her ‘second son’ at dinner though.” He joked, a small stab of pain sliced into him as Arthur tensed at his voice, never turning to face Merlin.

“Merlin,” He tersely greeted the raven-haired man, back still turned, “I’ve got to go. …I have stuff.”

“Stuff? All right then, have fun.”

“Thanks. Bye.” Arthur turned then, his words still stiff, attempting to shoulder past the shorter male.

“Wait,” Merlin called, grabbing Arthur’s arm as he attempted to pass, feigning nonchalance when Arthur tore his arm away from contact as if Merlin had the plague. “Do you want to hang out tonight? I won’t even mention Star Wars.” He added with a small smile.

“Can’t. I have to go now.”

“Are you mad at me, Arthur? What did I do?” He asked in a small voice, words wavering. He inwardly kicked himself for sounding like such a petulant, needy child.

For just a split moment, Arthur paused. Then, sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose sounding every but as tired as he looked. “No, Merlin, I’m not mad. Please, just shut up for me. I must go now but I will see you later.” And with that, he was gone, only a whiff of expensive cologne marking the spot he had recently vacated, marking their conversation.

Yup, Arthur was most definitely angry, _but what for?_ What on Earth did Merlin do to break – no, to completely destroy – their treasured friendship?


	4. The Aftermath (Arthur)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's POV, school the next day.

Arthur’s plan was to get to school early, grab his books, and then head to class early so that he wouldn’t have to face Merlin. Naturally, the whole plan failed right from the beginning. He slept through his first alarm, arriving at school later than planned, however, still earlier than Merlin. Then, after suffering through his friends’ crazy antics (he really hoped Merlin didn’t have to watch Gwaine twerking), he arrived at his locker, an extra almost ten minutes late. He was almost done packing his books into his bag before he heard the one person he didn’t want to talk to call his name. He picked up the pace, hoping to vacate the premise before Merlin caught up. Thanks to his shoddy luck, Merlin was right at his side in seconds. Prattling on about math and homework and missing him… If Arthur didn’t act fast enough he was either going to snog the living daylights out of the unsuspecting brunet or blurt out an embarrassing love confession. Opting for neither, Arthur decided that blowing his best friend off would be the best option as to not create a scene.

Using every ounce of polite coldness in his body – learned from Uther, of course – he attempted to push Merlin away. Of course Merlin would have to blabber on about Star Wars. That remark right there almost broke Arthur’s frigid façade. Merlin always promised not to talk about Star Wars, but he would always end up doing so. In fact, Arthur secretly loved Star Wars (who wouldn’t??) but loved grumbling about it even more just to get a reaction out of Merlin. His rants were adorable. With every question, statement, word from Merlin, his ability to contain himself wore ever thinner. Finally, after that empty, defeated tone Merlin asked him in about being mad, he breaks. Just barely. Of course he isn’t mad. How could he ever be angry at Merlin? The one who constantly trips on sidewalk cracks and pets bees, helps people cross the road and is learning medicine from his uncle Gaius just to help those in need? No, he’s mad at himself. For falling for Merlin, for thinking that Merlin could ever feel the same, for believing that they were actually dating. It hurt, the pain constantly reminding him of his failings and screwups. And with those wide, azure eyes glazed with a film of tears, voice wavering as he asked Arthur what he did to anger the blond, the voices in his mind screaming about telling Merlin how he felt, snogging him, or even going much further reached an impossibly high decibel, and being unable to hear or even think about anything else, he quickly made his getaway, lest they become the newest piece of gossip at Camelot High.


	5. The Confrontation (Merlin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin asks Morgana why Arthur is so upset with him.

Merlin hurried down the hallway, intent on catching up to Morgana. Sure, he could see her – her loud footsteps echoing off the polished floors, courtesy of her black combat boots, and her Victorian gothic look was very distinct, and if anyone could pull it off, it would be her – but reaching her was the challenge as she walked with a very fast pace. “Morgana, Morgana,” He called, pausing to catch his breath as she stopped in the hallway, facing him. “I… need to… ask… you a… question.” He panted. “Why is Arthur mad at me?”

“Mad?” She scoffed, “Arthur could never be mad at you, Merlin, he loves you.”

“He keeps ignoring and avoiding me. If that isn’t anger then I don’t know what is.”

“Oh, no, you silly thing. He isn’t mad at you, he could never be. He’s mad at himself.”

“Yes, but why? He’s been brushing me off both yesterday and today. Please, Morgana, I’m concerned.”

She hesitated, nibbling on her very glossy red and very shiny (they reflected the school lights with the brightness and intensity of the sun at unsuspecting victims) lips before deciding to answer his question. “Very well, Merlin, but please don’t tell him I told you.”

“Of course,” He vowed, bobbing his head and subconsciously leaning forward, eager to realize the source of his best friend’s problems.

“He told me last night that… well, that he thought you guys were dating, just taking it slow and that you reacting to our comments – which I’m so sorry about, Merlin – made him realize that you don’t feel the same way about him. Now he’s mad at himself because he feels like an idiot for thinking that you could ever love or want to date him.”

Merlin paused for a moment before a wide smile split his face, laughing. “I’m sorry, Morgana, but you’ll have to be more clever than that to get one over me. Look, I know you are Arthur’s sister, and I’m glad you are keeping his secrets, but I care for him and just want to make sure he is okay. If it’s that sensitive though, I won’t pry.”

“You… You absolute dolt!” Morgana cried, “I’m being serious.”

“Oh, of course. Of course, Morgana. Because Arthur is miraculously into guys and even more miraculous, into me. Like that is the truth. Like I said, you have to be much more clever than that to fool me.” He smirked, glad to prove himself against the wit of Morgana – it was a running joke in their friendship circle.

“Ugh! You are an idiot, Merlin! I don’t know which of you is the bigger one, you or Arthur, but it’s close!” She clenched her hands in frustration, “That’s it! I’m done meddling in this complicated dance you two are involved in. You can figure out your love for each other on you own for all I care.” She fumed, turning on her heel and clomping away, her tense anger lingering as if tangible.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At lunch Merlin questioned his friends as to why Arthur was mad at him. After varying degrees of _I’m not sure_ 's and _I don’t know, Merlin, sorry_ 's he regaled them with Morgana’s answer.

“At least she was creative in her answer!”

“ _Merlin…_ ” Morgana growled in warning, murder intent in her eyes.

But it wasn’t often someone outwitted Morgana and so Merlin boasted to his friends, unafraid of death, riding the high of doing the nearly impossible. After finishing his story, expecting rowdy congratulations and applause, he was shocked to see the horrified expressions they gave him. A slight squeak and the swishing of the grass alerted him to another person listening in. Turning to face the imposter he caught the golden glint of tell-tale hair and a distinct back wearing a distinct shirt running towards the shelter of school.

“I can’t believe you, Emrys, you _promised_ you wouldn’t tell.” Morgana spoke, voice shaky, venom dripping from her tone. She glared at him, conveying the utmost fury in her gaze before storming off, hurrying to catch up to Arthur.

“Merlin,” Gwen’s gentle tone broke his stare, “Merlin, sweetheart, I don’t think Morgana was joking.” The rest of the group nodded, agreeing with Gwen, somber expressions ruining any kind of camaraderie they acted with before everything blew up.

Head in his hands, trembling slightly, Merlin realized his mistake. “Oh bollocks, I’ve made a right mess of this, haven’t I?” When the group didn’t respond, he knew it was worse than he thought. “I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?” He mourned, pain in his voice, “Morgana hates me and Arthur will never forgive me. He loves me, or at least loved me, and I ruined that chance too.” Any chance at love with Arthur was ruined. All because he wanted to stroke his ego.

A pair of warm arms encircled his shaking body as he started to cry. Gwen.

“There, there, Merlin. It will all be okay. Morgana will forgive you. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but she will. And Arthur… Well, some groveling and true romantic gestures on your part should help you two finally get your heads out of your arses. Don’t worry, Merlin. We’ll help you, don’t you worry.”

“Oh, Gwen, what should I do?”


	6. The Confrontation (Arthur)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's POV after overhearing Merlin spilling his secret to their friends.

Soft clomping echoed down the corridor as Morgana made her way towards Arthur. She poked her head into the empty classroom - a dusty, cramped space most people didn’t even know existed - only to be assaulted with the sharp sounds of sniffling and half-choking, half-sobbing noises. She may have appeared heartless towards the rest of the school but the pitiful state her brother was in shattered her heart. 

“Hey,” she whispered softly, crouching down to give the shaking ball that was her brother a hug.

“Go’way.” He shrugged her arms off of himself viciously.

“Arthur… Oh, Arthur. I’m so sorry, I didn’t think things would get out of hand like that. I-“

“Why did you have to tell him? Why did you have to humiliate me even more thoroughly?” He snarled. “Did you really think that I needed more heartbreak? Because I didn’t. I don’t. And I can’t handle it, Morgana. Every time he opens his stupid face it’s just to hurt me even more. He knows how I feel about him and he mocked me, behind my back, with _my friends_ , about how _poor Arthur Pendragon couldn’t help but fall in love with me, like I could ever love anyone like him, how pathetic!_ He ridiculed me for how I felt. He shredded my heart into pieces. Our friendship is completely destroyed. And yet I can’t stop loving him.” Fresh tears rolled down his path, following the tracks of the previously shed. Breathing harshly, he began rocking once more. “ _The one thing_ I told you in confidence you tell him the very next day. Our friendship is completely ruined, Morgana, and all you can say is _I’m so sorry, Arthur_. It seems like you’ve been telling me that an awfully large amount of times these past few days. _Why did you do it? How could you?_ ”

“I… I know I keep apologizing, Arthur, but I really mean it. I’m so sorry. He chased me down the halls, almost in tears, asking why you hated him. He sounded so broken and I had to tell him. I thought he would believe me when I told him the truth. That he would run into your arms and fix the mess that was created. But he laughed in my face. He thought I was joking. That there was no way that you thought of him like that. That I was making everything up.” Tears started to drip down her face as her guilt ate her alive. “He… I made him promise to not tell anyone but he thought I was kidding. I didn’t realize…” Her breath hitched. “I didn’t realize that he would make things so much worse. I’m sorry, Arthur. I wish I could take it all back.”

“Yeah, well you can’t. And you’ve ruined everything. He’s ruined everything. How can I go back to class and sit near him knowing he shattered my heart like that? I don’t want to see him, or have to talk with him, or even know he’s near me. _How could he?_ ” His voice broke on the last sentence, sniffling and choking on sobs. Then, quieter, “ _How could he?_ ”

And all Morgana could do was hold him tightly through the storm.


	7. The Falling Out (Merlin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, seven chapters in a day! It feels good to be back. :)
> 
> Morgana confronts Merlin about what he's done.

“How _dare_ you!” The terrifying experience of having all of the one and only Morgana Pendragon’s anger directed solely on Merlin’s person nearly stopped his heart right then and there. “You promised not to tell anyone and yet you blurted it out to the whole friend group. You mocked him and his feelings. You humiliated him in front of all of his friends. You made fun of how he was feeling. _Do you know how long it’s taken for him to realize that suppressing emotions is not normal_? How many years it took him to fight off Uther’s words?” She grabbed his shoulders, pinning him to the row of cold, unrelenting lockers behind him, nails biting painfully into the thin skin. “He’s _broken_. _You_ broke him, Merlin, and I don’t know if he will ever fully recover from this.

“I know, Morgana, I’m a complete arse. I screwed everything up. I’m _sorry_ , okay? And I’m lost and confused and have no idea how to fix this.”

“No, you don’t know, _Merlin_ ,” She hissed, venom dripping from her words, “I’ve never seen him like this. You don’t understand the extent of the damage done. He told me to tell you that your friendship is over. He doesn’t want to see or hear you ever again. He will be switching seats in all the classes you share with him and has already blocked you from contacting him on all of the various platforms you guys used.” At the devastated look on Merlin’s face, Morgana relented a little. “Just… Give him a week or two to cool down. Try to talk to him after that. I can’t guarantee that he will forgive you, or that anything will ever be the same between you guys, but he’s angry and broken right now and if you try to reconcile things now, his hatred for you will be irreversible.” And with that, her talons released their death grip on his person, hair smacking Merlin in the face as she turned and stalked away, leaving Merlin to wallow in his self pity.


End file.
